Motherhood Can Be a Lonely Place
Let’s face it, motherhood can be a very lonely place! From the minute you find out you are pregnant, people start showering you with love and affection. They open doors for you, offer to take your groceries out to the car, throw you baby showers and pray for you and your baby. However, the minute the baby is born, especially in the American culture, the focus turns from you to the baby. After all, who can blame anyone for wanting to hold and shower a precious newborn with love? Nobody!
Second-time Moms and beyond know to expect this, but First-time Moms might have a harder time with it. I’m not talking about Post-Partum Depression, I’m just talking about the adaptations that simply “doing life” causes. Whether you are a Stay-at-Home Mom, a Work-at-Home Mom or a Professional Mom that is used to going to an office or traveling everyday, this can be daunting. Once the fan fare of the birth is over, we often find ourselves with our new baby, at home, alone. Our husbands are off at work, our mothers have gone back home and it’s time to care for this little one and be a Mommy – by ourselves.
Wow! Although God is always with us, situations just as the one I described above can be lonely! Motherhood can be lonely. As someone that is a “go, go, go” person, I often felt anxious about having to stay in my home during 3 nap times, which eventually turned into 2 and now is 1 nap time. I often felt, and sometimes still feel like a prisoner in my own home! The 2 hours that I did have to get out and go grocery shopping, didn’t always happen if my child was fussy, or needed to eat (that took up at least 30 minutes of my time).
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! WE UNDERSTAND! WE HAVE BEEN THERE!
Here are three tips for making Motherhood less of a lonely place:
1. Join a group! This sounds glaringly obvious, doesn’t it? It is, but for some of us, we are not really sure where to start. I was fortunate to get connected with an amazing group of women through a Mother’s Fellowship group shortly after moving to our current residence. Bryce is safe and secure with many of the same nursery workers that he sees on Sunday mornings and I get to enjoy an hour and a half with Godly women, learning more about God’s comfort and grace.
The key to all of this is allowing yourself the opportunity to realize you need a chance to relax and time apart from your child. Find somewhere you feel comfortable with the childcare, but don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for leaving them in capable hands.
2. Get online! I might be a bit biased with this suggestion, especially since I am a professional blogger, but I took only about a week off from HeandSheEatClean.com when I had Bryce. It kept me connected to world where I was before. I’m not saying you need to become a blogger, but getting involved with online bible study groups, forums and book clubs will keep you meeting people and might actually introduce you to women that are in your same shoes or can serve as mentors to you. It’s always fun to open my email to see an encouraging note from someone!
Not ready for that? Staying up to date on Facebook or Twitter and even Pinterest and Instagram can be uplifting and put you back in the “adult” realm when you have been talking to kids all day.
3. Set at least one day a month for a date night and one day a month to connect with girlfriends! Go on a date! Yep, I said it. At least once per month! It doesn’t have to be anything overly fancy, but simply having an hour or two to talk to your spouse, by yourself might be just what you need to refuel your love tank!
On the flip side, you need a girl’s night! Sit down with your spouse and tell them that you need some additional adult interaction. Explain that it’s not that they aren’t cutting it for you, but time out with your girlfriends will help you recharge and peel away the layer of cloud that so often impairs our judgement and doesn’t allow us to fully enjoy our circumstances. Try not to allow the girl’s night to end up with everyone complaining, but for many, it’s comforting to know that your friends are or have been in your same shoes.
Remember this scripture… it’s gotten me through many sleepless nights:
And we know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28, NIV
One of your Callings: Be the best Mother you can be!
Have any other suggestions for beating the loneliness of motherhood? We want to hear them! Comment below.